Monday, 7 August 2017

Oh I say Postie, what a monster!

I've noticed over the years how all men like to brag about the size of their endowment and I get the feeling that today it must be my turn. The feeling started when I spotted Postie struggling up the drive under the weight of what I assumed must be a surfboard.

Me: 'Morning Postie, my word you've got a big one there...

Postie: I certainly have Mr Page, but it's not as big as yours! Lend me a hand to unload it will you?

Me: Gosh is that really for me? It must be my birthday. Oh, wait... it is my birthday!

And this is what I got...


Cute isn't it?


This is a milestone year for me because from today onwards those nice people from Her Majesty's government actually pay me just for staying alive. Well best I make sure I live a damn long time then! So yes, by way of celebration the family presented me with a Big One and at last I have something to brag about.

What's that you say, you don't believe it's very big at all? Well you just wait there and let me get it out to show you!

What a Whopper!
That's no toy it's standing next to you know...

So, all together now:

Happy Birthday to you
The dog ate your shoe,
Happy Birthday dear Usky
This rhyme is just poo!

Terrible isn't it? But I don't care because today and for one day only, I'll bet mine is bigger than yours! ­čśů